Fluffy the fish.
Leo the cat.
These are what pass as our current offspring. We have a fish that... um... Does fish stuff. The cat annoys the Wife and generates feces for the trash. Well, he does that when he's not shedding.
The baby is due in four weeks. Until then, it's mostly panic as we try to prepare. Lots of stuff left to do... We don't have a functional crib, lack child care, don't know what a baby actually costs... But it will all work itself out.
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